Please, let me fuck your mom
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
