i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Life without a bra equals bliss.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize