4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
