We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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