Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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