Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
