I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Are my feet made of real feet?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
