I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize