omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
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I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
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I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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