listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
