Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
