i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize