dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
