I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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