just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
