she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The chlamydia really affected his face.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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