I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
