Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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