y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
A bitchslap is in order.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
