Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize