After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
