what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize