You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
