We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize