yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
