you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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