I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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