Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
