SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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