I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
