You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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