just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
