From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
