what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
