i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
