Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
