Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize