God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
