Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
