Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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