I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
