The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
