I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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