it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
