If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
