I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
