I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
