I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
