Pants 0. Shit 1.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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