Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
