when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
