need another drink. this is the easiest way
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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