even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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