I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Buhtt sex?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
