I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
