So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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