I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
