so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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