and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
