But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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