Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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