that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
