Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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