im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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