Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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